We are all familiar with the unrelenting, critical, hostile, and sometimes insidious male voice in our head that tells stories of I am not, and I should be. I refer to this voice as male because it is filled with masculine energy that has us believe we need to be different or better than what we are right now to be worthy and adequate. The messages we often receive keep us in a constant state of doing, fixing, controlling, and managing all aspects of our lives.
It is the voice that says things like, “You shouldn’t eat that”, or “You have no willpower”, or “You’re wasting time”, or “You’re not doing enough!”, or “You have no reason to feel that way”, or “ You’re being too sensitive.”
Most of us have been taught to value only masculine principles of structure, productivity, achievement, goal-oriented, clear, focused, logical thinking. We have become unfamiliar and uncomfortable with feminine qualities of stillness and emotion. We have been taught to ignore, deny, and reject that feeling part of us that is nurturing, intuitive, and compassionate.
I see the critical male voice as a soldier that has me fighting my way through life and that keeps me in a perpetual state of self-bullying. Yet, when I feel into the sacred feminine side of myself, I see her as a courageous Warrior who is willing to take a new and different approach, one based in understanding and respect.
The Warrior asks, “What am I truly hungry for?” She is passionately curious about what is going on in her inner world, including the constellation of voices in her head. She has learned to respond to what life brings her instead of living in reaction and she understands that her feelings, just like people, respond to apologies and a willingness to listen. A Warrior chooses to engage with and explore, honestly, her emotions, her pains, her life and herself for she knows that true healing can only be found in the journey back to her Self.
A Warrior is present, in her body, rather than in the swirling thoughts of her struggling mind. She brings spaciousness and offers acceptance of what is, rather than reacting, rejecting, and invalidating. She touches her experience with the healing of her heart in freedom and infusions of love, rather than closing down to hate and fear. A Warrior cultivates practices of deep listening as she awakens the wellspring of wisdom within her, promoting trust in herself and her life, rather than buying into and living through the stories in her head.
A Warrior offers forgiveness for all the times she has rejected and abandoned herself and she is learning that what she truly needs is to be there for herself when she needs herself the most. She honors and trusts her experiences of resistance because in doing so she allows herself to stay in her healing journey. Cultivating curiosity and speaking her truths are now part of her spiritual toolbox and she gives this training absolute priority.
A Warrior values both feminine and masculine energies knowing both are necessary to balance her internal landscape. She understands her task is to be the vessel that contains our truth, our vision, and our essence, and to be the vehicle that can boldly carry our truth out into the world in a clear, straight-forward way.
Self-Awareness and Transformational Coach, Inner Child Advocate, and Yin Yoga Teacher.